SEPT 02, 2018: Love Hungry

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Why do I feed off romance?

 Self-relection on romance/spouse love.
Drawings by me, Poetry by @vkarinaxo



   By yours truly, Karla. 
















"See you been trying to make me feel like
You don't love me anymore
And you have been trying to make me feel that
You don't need me anymore
But baby I won't let you play games
You wanna leave then you can go."
- Let It Go, Keisha Cole




The air conditioner set on full blast as we tried to defeat the LA weather in Ashley's car. 

Four bodies filled the space in the car: Ashley, Vanessa, Arleen, and I. The idea of "love" filled our heads and conversation on that Saturday afternoon. This emotion of "love" and the influence on music began to associate as we shared music with each other.








Both the a.c. and the car speakers were filling the tight space at this point. We continued to shout out different song titles that seem to explain the emotions we were feeling individually. 

We loved it.

Vanessa requested a song by Keisha Cole titled, "Let It Go." 

This particular song caught my attention since this title resonated with the top 30 hit songs from the early 2000's that I always keep in mind.

"But now I get if he don't wanna
Love you the right way he ain't gonna."
- Let It Go, Keisha Cole

My mind began to spur into thoughts. I was reflecting on the obsession with "love."
In relationships, the most significant factor for me is the reassurance  of "love." Symbols of what defined "love" according to pop culture made me obsess over getting this physical and emotional affection on a constant. 

I can remember last fall around October, my curiosity about other's perception of love made me want to follow alongside other's experience of it. 

A Medium writer that I still follow to this day is Kris Gage. She writes about "love" and her experience with ex-spouse and current spouse. The vulnerable conversation she initiates in her writing makes me want to feel the different types of love a spouse can offer me.

The curiosity began molding into a snowball rolling down a mountain slope.

As my curiosity started to build on itself. I found myself looking at the perception of love on a whole other level. 

The idea of being vulnerable and seeing someone else see it intrigued me so much that I allowed myself to receive love from others.

Although, as time passed so did the openness of vulnerability between ex-lovers and me.
These rising emotions put me in a weird state. I blamed myself and stretched myself to fix missed patches of reciprocation. 

The emotional drainage of the end of these relationships brought up never-ending thoughts. I believe this is the time individuals experience the rush of creativity in other areas of their life. The effects of the emotion are why I loved "love," you go on an emotional rollercoaster that reminds you of feelings and the power of them. 

You learn the emotions, and the actions attached them.

I can write down a list of emotions that I felt in a relationship and how I showed the emotion back whether physically or emotionally. 

Honestly, emotions are what drive us as humans. It makes life exciting.

I started to trace my mind back into the presence of the LA weather and the refreshing winds hitting my face from the a.c.

These other precious humans: Vanessa, Ashley, and Arleen, were excited about life like me. 

We were hungry about the idea of "love" and acknowledging/enjoying that moment of reflection made me realize I'm not the only one curious about this emotion.



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